ReALLY

Little Earthquakes

2006-12-09T20:17:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas everyone and Hanukka and Kwanzaa too! Yeah it is about that time again. Freakin A. What a crazy year and i'm sure they'll pass just as fast as this one did! I don't get it, the older I get the faster I grow old. Twenty flippin Eight. Yeah. Not yet married but close. We own a home together and furniture and the whole deal. I definitely feel secure in our future and look forward to many happy years with my main squeeze.

It is funny that some of my good female friends are literally living the "Sex in the City" life. I mean they are newly single and my age and some prospects but... It just seems totally crazy that we aren't all pushing baby carriages complaining about never seeing our husbands etc. The only thing we are pushing is thirty. Not that it is in any bad just not at all what I expected my life to be. I don't feel like I've got "my career" intact either. I guess we never know what road will lead us where.

It is true we live in a way different world than our parents...I just feel like I should be farther than I am now. When will I grow Up? My mom still says that. It is true though, i don't know when I will really feel grown up. My father said that he finally felt the age of maturity at 50. I think about that and I'm not sure what that realization will feel like. The loss of "it seems like yesterday I was in highschool." Cause it does feel like yesterday. I can't imagine when it won't feel like it just happened. I guess when I have kids that are telling me that it feels like yesterday they were in highschool. ha! I can't imagine having kids. I can't wait but i can't imagine molding a young person. Watching them grow from infant to toddler to twenty somthing. It is awesome and agonzing how fast life passes you by.

So...Myspace eh?

2006-12-06T16:03:00.000-08:00

Instead of a lot of fun rantings from highly intelligent people from blogging on blogger... you get a personal ad for yourself in seek of a "more than friends" kind of relationship. Interesting.

Regardless I made one...a space for myself... out there in a land of highly sex crazed space taker uppers. haha Though I get my own not so random piece of ass on a regular basis, I still have a need to connect with friends who are in need of a piece of ass from other myspacers.

Smack that!

2006-11-21T08:59:00.000-08:00

A million things to do yet here i sit. Could be cleaning up the house, putting the laundry away, shopping for Christmas gifts, napping, putting away the clean dishes, napping... I think I'd like a nap actually.

Random but highly necessary...my hands are so disgustingly dry they could be put in a potpourri basket w/ the other wilted things...frightening really.

Very sleepy...

(Insert Circular Saw Noises)

2006-02-21T17:35:00.000-08:00

i don't really have anything important to say. uh...not that that is shocking or anything? I just wanted to pop in and let you all know i'm still alive.

I've exciting news too! I made a dentist appt. for the first time in oh i'd say 4 years. You see while attending college I sort of let my bi annual cleanings fall by the way side. After graduating it didn't get much better. After I had the dreaded surgery where they drugged me and punched my wisdom teeth out of my head, I wasn't too keen on seeing that mother fucker for a while. The best was when my little mouth was healing and a small infection occurred. Yeah I go in for my check up. This visit to hell is so they can affirm that my scars from the beating won't be permanent. The dentist grabs the hook device, you know the one I'm speaking of. The chisel thing. He takes that and without warning he yanks the new skin off of my freaking gaping hole where my tooth once was. I started crying because it HURT LIKE A MOTHER FUCKER. You know what he said, "oh? did that hurt?" Asshole!

Wow. I guess I have some emotions I need to work through from that event in my life...tee hee.

So since I've been out of school for 5 years I suppose it is time. I take care of my teeth don't get me wrong. It is a good idea to visit the dentist regularly...it's just difficult to pencil in that wicked hurting they put on you... If you receive your "by the book" bi annual cleaning, the hygenist will only spend a good 30 min. deep cleaning your weary teeth and gums to the point you don't want to do anything involving mouth movement for a day or so afterward. I have no idea how long they'll take on my mouth. It seems that no matter how much preparation you do in an effort to wow your dental hygenist, they'll find something to work on for the duration of your visit. Unbeknowest to you, your back molar has a little more build up than you imagined. Also your flossing 3 days before your visit didn't exactly make up for the years you flossed every couple of weeks or so. I don't know about your hygenist but if they floss you the way they floss me...blood is flowing and the gums are aching!

Can't wait! I have to go to bed now! I'll let you all know how it goes at the chop shop!

High Ho the Dairy O, A Mortgage Payment's On The Way...Hey!

2005-12-13T19:47:00.000-08:00

I try to begin each post with the word "so." Don't ask me why. It is my train of thought I suppose. I think with the initial thought being "so....*enterextremelythoughtfulquery*"

Now then. The root of this post, I'm sick of living with people and paying them rent for a place which I hardly reside and can not intelligently be referred to as a roommate as I should be referred to as, "that girlfriend who pays rent for no reason and lives at her boyfriend's place." It seems so college-esque. Only in college I was not really paying rent, the government paid it with the promise that one day I would pay them back...for the rest of my life. Then it didn't seem so bad because I had tons of free money for spring break, beer and of course college books. I don't want to get into that insurmountable amount of debt and the ensuing degree received etc. etc.

Because I'm in love with the man in my life and know we will one day be united in that holy matrimonial state where you give up autonomy and remain forever unified at the hip and stuff. And the fact that neither one of us is gratified about throwing money to the housing hounds of hell, it is time to think about house hunting. dahn dahn daaaahn!

We are very excited and gung ho for sho! The frightening thing is the actual mortgage and being a grown up and actually paying for stuff that isn't eaten in the next week. Things like fur-ni-ture and a-pp-li-ances! I guess I am 27 years old so I can absolutely envision these things but actually paying for them is a different story. Therein lies the question begged, how do you pay for all this stuff? Oh Uncle Sam....more money please! Uncle Sam should be designated as my sugar daddy. Too bad he eventually wants the money back. What a downer!

The reality of the situation is that I cannot wait to share something so wonderful as our first house. It makes me smile.

I will have more updates as the hunt begins! Stay tuned! ha!

2005-12-12T18:29:00.000-08:00

Back to Our Regularly Scheduled Program

2005-12-08T21:05:00.000-08:00

I had my first post in like 10 months all planned out one night while falling asleep. It was going to be creative, thoughtful and full of 10 cent words. I created each line of text in my brain with zeal and intensity. Only to get on blogger and realize all but one of my post's beloved comments vanished. I look like a total loser now, not that that has ever mattered but dude! Comments are the best! So whatever, I'm kinda over it.

Hi! It's me Dominique! I was dabbling in scholastic activities when we last met. Well I'm done dabbling until I can figure out what the hell I want to do with my life. It is tough out there! I did very well in my physics class...who knew the brain has the capability of bouncing right back on that bike to administer those wheelies like from when you were a tyke? I didn't until I kept getting A's on stuff. I'm such a freaking nerd. I'm a closet nerd though. I'm that total brat that makes fun of everyone in class, even the professor! I do it for the laughs though. Then I go home and study. I'm one of those people that doesn't fail. But lets not dig too deep into the quintessence of myself. It will get ugly.

Now that I'm actually typing, do you think I can remember what it was that I was so eloquently putting together as a rough draft that fateful night while drifting to sleep. Hell no. It was good too. I should've written it down. I always do that! Do you ever wake up from a dream like, what the fu...?! I need to remember that one!! Then you proceed to not only NOT write it down but think of it later to know only that you forgot totally what the damn dream was about thus ruining the next five minutes. After those five minutes, you are back to whatever it was you were doing. Nonetheless, it seems to be a recurring 5 minutes at least once a week for me.

It is snowing outside. Hard. I can hear the wind too. It is knarley out there.

My flipping eyes hurt so I'm out! I'll be around sooner than later. No worries kiddies!

Where did all my fucking comments go?

2005-12-08T15:58:00.000-08:00

Granted I get no points for being in attendance but what the fuck? Why go and steal my comments away? *sniffsniff* I'm in a vulnerable state right now. Dude I'm listening to Guns N Roses November Rain, need I say more?

'Member Me?

2005-07-20T14:39:00.000-07:00

Holy shit! I remembered my login and my password! How long has it been? You can thank my dumb ass job for my lack of writing. Ever since they abolished Blogger I've been MIA. Mind you this has not increased my productivity. It has only allowed me to realize that I cannot go on forever in my (then) state of catatonia. So! I scaled back my hours (enter high pitch squeal of both excitement and disdain (for the lack of funds once generated from my paycheck!)) I've also decided on a different career avenue. I won't give away the surprise but lets just say it is a total 180 from my current position in front of the ol 'puter!

In order to pursue this new career path I've got to go back to school. The first class I take? Physics. First let me just say, PHYSICS. Second, I've been out of college for 5 years and in the interim have used my brain as sporadically and inhabitually as was proper to just keep myself alive. Now I'm back at school and...and...you remember the word "math." Yeah neither did I! We've actually got to use concepts from that word, "math." It hurts!

Lets review some basics from my history in college. In my career starting as an 18 year old college student, I would take classes like Plant Biology to avoid having to actually learn difficult concepts for Human Biology. How complex can a plant get, really? I took one freaking math class the 4 years I was in college. I figured I was due a break when my senior year of High School I had to take Trigonometry. Didn't do much good as it led to my testing into the College Math for RETARDS. You know that test they make you take to see what Math Placement you belong? I obviously failed it miserably and the first year I took my "You learned this shit in 8th grade" course. I was then happy to choose a major that did not require anymore of that "math."

Needless to say I've been busy. My boyfriend (of course still Brad) is going to Vegas this weekend for a bachelor party. Woo! I think we are going to the tittie club here to get him ready for the big time. Can't go from visiting no tittie clubs to Las Vegas tittie clubs without some priming. Apparently Briana Banks is here...he loves Briana.

Anywayz I'm out like trout. Gotta go read about Newton and his dumb ass laws.

PEACE!

Why is the floor so sticky?

2005-05-23T18:03:00.000-07:00

I'm super excited to see the final (3rd installment) Star Wars! I think that will be a major "to do" this weekend. I sort of read Martin's post review but didn't want anything ruined so I quickly diverted any and all content aside from the end which states,"8 out of 10." Good enough for me! We all know Martin is the connoisseur of movies and aside from the fact that he actually enjoyed Lost in Translation (no you will NEVER live that down) I agree with most of his film reviews.

So, speaking of "weekends." Timmy, in a drunken stupor, I thought of you this weekend. Hovered in a straddle position over the men's toilet, I was allowing a sure fire aim into the porcelein water fountain. However, the first couple seconds of pee stubbornly went all but in the pot. I was laughing at myself and at the thought of you pissing all over the floor while ...not so intoxicated after drinking shots of water!

Anyway our situations were not so similar as I don't have a dick and I was not in the least bit aroused. I was also wasted and you, well you were a young, water logged mess! ha ha

You might be wondering why I was in the mens room to begin with. Well I don't "wait" in lines. I'm the woman who walks into a 15 stall men's room passing the herd of males positioned to the wall draining the "snake" if you will as I head to the one and only toilet with walls. In this case though, there was only one room with a door and a single toilet. It was clean for the most part...until I speckled the floor a bit. Don't worry, I didn't get any on me! We women know, that is all that matters. We figure, the men's room is dirty anyway...Fuck it!

So dear Tim, you should feel so honored. I would not have told that story if it weren't for you. You're welcome.

Just called to say "hello"

2005-05-16T07:06:00.000-07:00

I hate losing a blogger! Where do they go? Why do they leave not to ever return? Have they filled their void blogger once filled? Can one really live without blogger?

I feel like a character in the death scene from any bad horror flick. Mortally wounded, lying on the ground dead as the protagonist relieves a deep sigh from the hard fought battle. The protagonist picks themself off the ground, gives the bloody body (me) one last look to satisfy the 50 stab wounds did in fact kill me. But wait! In a fit of more than just death muscle spasms, I too pick myself off the ground and continue on with a robotic like fever to kill just once more!!!!

Horror movies can be so gay! Not homosexual gay, just gay gay.
Anyway I really hope this isn't my last, last entry. I'm definitely not going to be as regular as I once was...why you may query? The powers that be have finally BLOCKED any blogging activity possible. Yes, you see, the corporate offices have restricted the blogging website...they also restricted ESPN! Can you believe that? They really want to see production go up or something?! Punk bitches!

So I really do have a life outside of work...which kind of stifles blogging activity after hours. Oh well. I will try hard to post for my sanity and yours!

This weeked rocked the casbah!! My birthday was yesterday and my ever lovely boyfriend Brad, surprised me once again! He got me an all day spa package! Hydro-tub, body wrap, body polish, mani/pedicure and an hour massage. It was the most amazing time. I have never been pampered so luxuriously. I love my man, he takes damn good care of me! And I like it!

I'm going back to sleep now but I miss all of you and will be by soon to write you some smart ass shite!

Can I get a Witness??!

2005-04-26T08:43:00.000-07:00

Friday: Sunshiny 80 degrees splendor

Saturday: Cloudy, Rain/Snow 30 degrees of shitness

Sunday: Dark, Dreary and nothing but SNOWY stupidity

Monday: Sunshiny and 60 degrees

Tuesday - Sunday: Rain, Rain, Rain and cold fucking temperatures.

You might pose the question, is it not the end of April? How is it snowing? That my friends is the determining factor of my quest to move to a land of sun, sand and WARM weather!

Egypt, here I come!

You like that don't you?!

2005-04-21T12:56:00.000-07:00

Blogger's Red Flags*

Statements Like:

"The Problem with the Problem Page blah blah the new Recover page option is OFFline while we make adjustments"

Making a point to actually BLOG and ending up with:

Error 409 blah blah blah (basically you lost your fucking post, it won't publish)

Other than that, I'm content with sharing thoughts through comments since I can usually NEVER FUCKING POST. haha (i'm feeling ornery today)(i love that html is here w/ me at work! it is wicked awesome!!!!)

*Oh my gosh i still love you blogger! You are the jam to my peanut butter, the bread without the crusts, mmm peanut butter and jelly with the crusts cut off, who is your dad, Mr. Rogers? Um actually its Mr. Johnson...

Me:

2005-04-21T10:04:00.000-07:00

YOU ARE A DICK HEAD!

blogger:

2005-04-21T09:10:00.000-07:00

WHO ME?!

Me:

2005-04-21T08:11:00.000-07:00

YEAH! YOU SUCK SO BAD! NON PUBLISHING MOFO!

Pretty in Pink (my writing)

2005-04-20T07:13:00.000-07:00

Sup Peops?!

Can you believe I haven't had time for you? What a bitch eh? I'm sooo selfish!

Okay have any of you seen Fever Pitch? I'm not going to do a "Martin" and detail the movie's adventures etc. Though you must know that this movie is so worth seeing! For once I wasn't the only one in the audience laughing uncontrollably...well maybe a little more than anyone else but this movie was freaking funny! Jimmy Fallon is my hero!

I'm bored, entertain me!

2005-04-15T07:57:00.000-07:00

Yeah so, this morning I'm driving down the road and in the middle of the street I see one shoe. I look around...only one. Who loses one shoe? In the middle of the street? Is this only in Ohio or what? This isn't the first time either. Just one shoe.

While on the topic of the foot region...how is it that no matter what you do to retain both socks at all times...one is always lost in the bunch? How? Where do they go?!?! I'm convinced there is a sock troll in each and every residence who steals a sock. You'll never find that missing sock man, just let it go.

The Home of Steers and Queers!

2005-04-12T14:40:00.000-07:00

After visiting this said to be highly "backward" state of the union, I saw only a few peculiar differences between them* and us**!

First of all, I saw 2ft by 5ft signs in the window of each establishment (whether it was the local IHOP, McDonalds or Kroger) state (in 100 font) plainly: The consumption of alcoholic beverages on the premises is unlawful. Apparently these signs are necessary since...

Just last year the state of Texas passed a law forbidding the consumption of alcohol in motor vehicles. (*sigh* I was a year late in visiting this grand state to see peculiar activity such as bearing witness to a native slugging a 40 oz. of OE while tooling down the interstate in a Ford F550 10 ton pick up!)

There are also signs in such establishments such as McDonalds that state that it is unlawful to have switchblades, knives or swords on the premises. You see if it isn't a shotgun, its fatal potential is higher? Also being that Texas is a bit racist against the pirates that seem to flock there...outlawing swords seems to curb their population size.

Honestly though, all the people in the city of Nacogdoches, Texas were very nice people. I didn't make that city up either. It is said to be the oldest city in Texas. Believe me, they use this as a selling point for tourist attraction. The billboard signs along the interstate were of a great marketing strategy being situated 5 miles apart for a 100 mile stretch. Most times while driving along the interstate you'll see the "Jesus Saves", "McDonalds 5 miles at Exit 15", "Seatbelts Save Lives" etc. Nope, Texas' stretch was sold out on COME VISIT THE OLDEST CITY IN TEXAS! It must've worked since that is where we ended up!

FAQ's

1. Does everyone drive a pick up truck?
Yes
2. Did you see any black people?
Yes, two
3. Is gas cheap there?
NO
4. Are you wearing any underwear today?
Yes, a bit of an odd question really but Yes.

I'm willing to field any additional questions. Feel free to ask away! I am an expert now that I've been to one city for 3 days one time in my life.

*Texans
**All Normal People Populating the U.S. save those living in Texas

2005-04-06T09:29:00.000-07:00

Since yesterday was a super warm 75 degrees (compared to the 30 degrees and SNOW we received on Saturday) I, along with the rest of the native Ohioans, was merrily driving with my windows down blasting my radio.

Do you ever wonder what people are thinking as they pollute the air with obscene music like Opera or Showtunes from inside their vehicle? I thought this last night as I was listening to the radio and Steve Winwood came on. Now, I like Steve Winwood but I'm surely not going to admit this to other drivers or even *gasp* pedestrians! I can imagine the looks of disapproval I would receive. So I decided I either enjoy this music with my windows UP or...I put in a CD. So I did the latter.

My macho driving would surly be undermined if Steve Winwood singing love songs escaped for all to hear! You may ask what it was I decided to listen to...Techno of course! Nothing can get the blood pumping like some Darude, Sandstorm action!

Buy and Sell!

2005-04-05T06:03:00.000-07:00

So yesterday after work I noted that my truck's little meter was inching quickly to the E in the gas tank. Meaning the baby girl needed some petrol. Right, so unless you've been living in a small cubby with no light and haven't joined what the rest of us call "society" in quite sometime, you know that petrol (gas) is a tad on the expensive side. Let me just call it like I see it, I'd rather pay a towing service to move my car from point a to point b as that would cost a shit load less than filling it up! I need an American Express Black card or I can't pay at the pump! Thanks Bush, you fucking asshole.

Anyway so I leave work and the first station I see, it says $2.34. TWO THIRTY FUCKING FOUR A GALLON?! I was less than happy about that to put it extremely lightly. So I think, hmm there has to be a station somewhere that still has it at the oh so wonderful (think sarcastic while reading that) 2.09 as seen earlier in the morning. Fucking 2.09 I'm happy to pay? I think not! However fucking 2.34 I won't pay!

Low and behold, thank my lucky stars for having to drive into the ghetto! I see $2.10!!! Wahooo! So in a very ecstatic commotion I swerve into the station like the General Lee with Cooter on my tail! (cooter!) I pull up to the first pump, check the actual pump to make sure those fuckers aren't messing with me and satisfied I jump out and start to load my credit card bent over fully expecting the anal penetration (with NO lube) to begin!

While taking the sodomization rather well there is a conversation on the other side of the pump. A truck full of Mexicans had pulled up (they don't travel alone folks) and the attendant inside the station asked them to please pre pay before starting the pumpage. So the one Mexican, we'll call him Jose. Jose futily says to the attendant, "I ain't payin inside first, (motions to second mexican, Diego) You go and pre pay!" Diego does what he is told and he disappears for a while. Jose apparently bored while waiting strikes up a conversation with a person who has apparently broken down a couple yards away. "Hey! (he yells to the broken down car guy) You selling that car?" I hear some verbiage but can't make it out. Jose yells, "Does it have power steering? No power steering?" Apparently even if the car is not going to move, the power steering would still be important! "How much?" Jose yells. Satisfied that he wasn't getting the car, he starts mumbling to Mexican #3. By this time, Diego is making his way back to the truck. (I'm finishing up w/ being disgraced anally. I top the bitch off at $30)

Upon placing the pump handle back in its home, Diego yells at me, "HEY! You selling that truck?" Out of nowhere comes this screech and I hear, "NO!! I'm not selling MY FUCKING TRUCK?!" come out of my mouth! Wow! ha ha (kinda surprised myself too!)

Jose pops his head around the corner and looks at my truck and says, "No, She ain't selling her truck!" (mocking me) I say a lot louder, "What is with you people (yeah, i went THERE!) and buying cars clearly not for sale?" Jose says, "That is what we do! We buy and sell cars!" I said, "Well you sure as fuck aren't selling my car!" Jose's like, "I'd give you $27 dollars for it!" I remarked snidely, "I can't even fill up the fucking gas tank for that!" Then I peeled outta there...again General Lee-ing it up! I had to laugh! Fucking Mexicans*! I'm a damn spaz! Aww.

*I am in no way a bigot or racist. you have to know that i am joking. anyone who takes offense can fuck off. ; )

Doctor Know(s TMI)

2005-04-05T05:38:00.000-07:00

Those of you who've been reading from the VERY beginning know that i'm the antithesis of a hypchondriac. Antithesis of one who visits doctors. The antithesis of having any procedure with the reward being my health insurance not covering it.

Plainly stated, I don't EVER go to the doctor. Albeit somewhat disrespectful to my body as "wellness" care is a responsible duty...i say, "If it ain't broke, fuck it!"

Well I gave in and went to the doctor. I know, i know! I didn't want to I swear! however, this is a special doctor! Regarding the special functions necessary for a very special reproductive possiblity in the future...very much the future. Like in ten years people.

All you ladies in the house know the simple list of questions you face when visiting this doctor. I won't bore you with all the answers* save one.

When asked, "Do you provide yourself with routine breast examinations?" I looked at him (yeah Him) and said, "errrr, ummm, i suppose i should answer yes?" he started to admonish me and i piped in, "my boyfriend does...sort of!!" Both of us starting cracking up, he shook his head and said, "I'll give you a check minus on that one" ha ha ha (I was getting graded!) (Awesome!)

*yes
*no
*it frequently burns in that area yes
(haha just kidding)

HAPPY APRIL FOOLS DAY!!!

2005-04-01T05:45:00.000-08:00

So i love this day! LOVE IT!

I'm sooo gullible so it makes it fun for everyone to play pranks on me! If you are also naive, i'm sure you've experienced some good prank allstars in your day!?

Humor me! I want to know the funniest/most believable April Fools Prank played on you!

I will try to think of a good one for you in the meantime. Yayee!

Update on the Tomato thing from last time

2005-03-31T12:55:00.000-08:00

I'm not red. Seems a bit of aloe gobbed on before bed transformed me into a beautiful bronzy color.

Thought you should know.

you say tomato, i say tomato, coincidence? i think NOT!

2005-03-30T12:53:00.000-08:00

HOLY SHIT! Every hour the heat rises. Every hour a body part tingles with pain! I am such a dumb ass! There is a news flash eh? This a.m. to kill some time after working out i decided to go tanning. Oh sure i've been 5 times before and worn a scant spf 4 to ensure the brown not the burn. This works so you know.

Well this particular morning I was distracted. I took Brad into the tanning room with me for some QT before he went to work. yeah let your imaginations run wild, i don't mind. So i didn't bring the tanning lotion with me.

BAD idea! My ass is on fire, not with passion and love though! My face, oh tomato face! I feel it getting so hot every aching minute. I'm afraid to go to the mirror. Each visit to the bathroom is a redder face each time! Shitters!

titles are a dime a dozen who needs 'em?!

2005-03-30T07:09:00.000-08:00

now that the weather is getting rather pleasant (a good 73 degrees today! wahoo!) people come from outside their dwellings to share with the world their once unknown presence.

These people need to crawl back under that rock and never come out again. I was better living my life not knowing they existed. Here are some of the observations i've had to witness as the crazies/mentally unstable are rearing their ugly heads!

1. picture a very small station wagon that looked like someone dragged it out of the dump. this vehicle was moving down the road containing 5 similarly small people who were most likely from the same dump. the speed limit is 35 on this rather busy straight forward road. the dumpy car probably has a weed trimmer for an engine so apparently it could not attain the listed legal mph. So apparently it was able to travel a solid 10 mph. i am NOT exaggerating. you can't imagine what this does to my patience. But! being the wicked awesome driver that i am! i chose the old "turn the blinker on acting like i'm going to turn using the turn lane and then flooring it to get ahead of them" trick. works everytime! Fuckers!

2. our office is located on a really busy street. busy with pedestrian and vehicle traffic. most times the pedestrians are the most entertaining and it just so happens this is one of those times! So I'm staring longingly out the window as it is always more pleasant out there than in here. I see this strange woman (they're all strange around here) walking down the street toward our office. She caught my eye with the chiq colors and obviously popular choice of hair cuts. As I peered at her for a bit, I noticed she was a he. Yeah, a Maleshe/HeShe! Sh(HE) had a mowhawk as the hairdo of choice, which is pretty hot if you ask me! Anyways The Mowhawk (funny looking word huh?) person had on what appeared to be a Pippy Longstocking outfit. You remember her? Pippy! The stockings which were like neon pink, yellow and blue colored stripeds going horizontally went all the way up. SheHe had on a top of the same neon fabric action too. Dude it looked like sheHE fell off some sort of Disney's demented funkadelic train. Where do you find outfits like that?! Apparently around HERE!? ShHe didn't do anything amazing besides strut down the street giving us all sHE had in stage presence. I applaud His(er) efforts. Bravo crazy pippy man-lady! Bravo!

that is all for now. i'll update daily as i see fit. Mind you it will be cooling down again! fucking spring my ass! anyway bear with me as the cold will assuredly hit again and i'll be missing out on some of the popular street-tainment!

2005-03-28T11:51:00.000-08:00

Ahem!
Those of you who are dating me, all...ONE of you! ha ha
I'm sorry!
I've got cramps, gas and a propensity to cry for no known reason for an inordinate length of time causing my eyelids to swell twice their size.
Good news!
The cramps can be relieved with ibuprofen.
The gas has the affect of an elephant running full force at your head...get a safe 1,000 miles away!
The eyes...eyeliner can work some major magic.

I'm sorry Mister. I suck this week!

Peter Pan SUCKS!

2005-03-24T12:46:00.000-08:00

Have you ever experienced something so outrageously awesome that you had to share the knowledge of its very existance and spectacularity* with the world?

No??

That is because you've not had this! Please dear lord, if you know what is good for your taste buds, you will get some of this or this or this**! I swear it to you, you will not be disappointed! You too will want to shout from the rooftops, "I can't believe it's PEANUT BUTTER!"

Well then again, maybe that is just me...

*know what? i don't care if this is a word or NOT martin!
**checking to see if you are still a clickin!

if you can download this...DO IT!

2005-03-23T10:55:00.002-08:00

Sprite meets Walmart

AND

definitely go here if that wet your appetite so much that you want more!

I got your back!

2005-03-23T06:42:00.000-08:00

Ah look! i'm posting again!

Since it is Wednesday, I have a little more free time!*

It is lovely here in Ohio, rainy, cold and no freaking sign of spring. Can you feel me on this? Oh wait, most of you live in the oh so warm WEST! Well Timmy can surely feel my pain!

Anyway there is all this writing about being funny and wonderful and stuff. I feel that tension kind of too. Mostly I started my blog because I wanted to write. Alas I fall into the category of feeling inadequate about what I write... Then I'm like, well this really isn't a popularity contest. So piss on it. I'm wild, weird and I write when I write and comment when I comment. It's all good, right?

So PK, I feel you but no matter what or how you write, it is all good!

In any event, I thought I'd write a little story for ya'll. Why? Because your patience deserves it! ; )

I'm a small person but I talk a big game. If I've been drinking, I tend to become superwoman. I can lift, throw, yell, fight! You name it!

In my youth, haha (while attending college anyway) drinking was obviously an integral part of my nightly adventures. This particular summer night my friends and I were at a party in some po dunk town which was near a small lake. We hit up this bar that was on the lake and it was pretty rugged. I am talking, ram shackle, log style, depot looking joint. At least the alcohol was cheap! It did have a pretty fancy deck on the back fortunately. This allowed us to take in the lakes beauty (spanning about 3 feet in diameter) and the docks with boats stationed there. The docks had spot lights on them, keep that in mind.

On one particular boat there was some partying going on. So the 10 of us park our asses on the fancy railing of the fancy deck and act as spectators to this hillbilly party on the boat! There was one girl and two good ol boys. The "good ol boys" were typical with their John Deere hats, their bellies pushing their pants down, and unkept hair and beards. Think John Goodman, on a bad day.

You can then imagine what Miss Thing looked like! She was typical 80's flashback with bleach blond stringy dead ass hair with Heather Lockhart's roots. Her body was NOT banging (well maybe her fat was banging the side of the boat w/ each passing wake?). She was first wearing a t-shirt with the loved and not lost rolled up short sleeves for a pack of cigarettes perhaps? And jeans that did not fit. These jeans quite unflatteringly declared her ass went from her neck to the back of her knees. (damn i am HARSH!) haha

What happened next made the spectacle even more entertaining! She started making out with both the guys, like HARD CORE. They are sort of going at it and we are squealing with delight. Our group was comprised of mostly men and like 3 women. I was dying laughing and we were all doing the elbow punching to one another. The three-some was so engrossed with one another that they didn't seem to mind the 10 of us cackling and yelling 5 feet from them. That was until she took her shirt off! (her bra was left intact)

She proceeded to prance around the boat like she was Queen Elizabeth. Apparently this show was for US! In complete disgust at the oversized stomach dwarfing any known tits she was trying to captivate us with, I yelled at the top of my lungs, "EW! Put your fucking shirt back on! No one wants to see that shit!" Laughter erupted from the group. *smilingsheepishly*

She yelled back, "what?!" Unfortunately I did not shut up and at this point she was trying to pull her sorry ass out of the boat and onto the dock. I said, "You fucking heard me, put your shirt back on!" We are all still laughing our asses off. She comes charging our way and who do you think is the first and only pussy out of her seat?! ME! I took off running the other way! No one else moved! How pathetic is that?!

She came up and in a drunken stupor asked, "who said that?!" (Sort of obvious who said it when the only one running away is me!) My friend Michelle was like, "who gives a fuck, put your shirt back on!" The 80's lady wasn't having any of this and tried to pull herself up the deck's side and was failing miserably. She kept falling away and finally her two manly men grabbed her kicking and screaming as she yelled explicatives our way.

It was pretty funny since that is the closest I've come to a fight. I felt better knowing everyone had my back...but me! Like I said, I talk a big game...

*(a little more free time) My ass! you all know better! I got ALL the free time!

Posting Party Pooper!

2005-03-22T20:07:00.000-08:00

Dudes! So sorry i've Nique-glected you! (i made that up, props to me can be sent via comments, thanks in advance)

I've not really been busy per se. Just without much motivation to deal with the various stages of pms blogger goes through. I mean even getting to this screen creates such impatience that my blood vessels swell to the their limits.

So instead, I comment. I feel good about commenting. it validates you. it keeps me in the circle. Most importantly i can feed off your wittiness thus creating a false sense of actually having a sense of humor. We all win kids.

Just wanted to let you know that yes I am capable of posting. ; ) It's wicked nice of you to keep checking up on me.

turning japanese?

2005-03-18T10:41:00.000-08:00

dude when is the last time you heard the song...turning japanese, i think i'm turning japanese, i think i'm turning japanese i really think so.

it was on the xm radio just now. unfortunately. why? because the damn song is stuck in my head!!!!! SUCK!

I feel pretty! & You'll feel fat! (sorry!)

2005-03-18T06:39:00.000-08:00

Dudes! I'm so Miss Molly Homemaker when I go on my diets. I feel like if I can't eat bad, everyone else SHOULD! The recipients of my creative baking are always family and friends. At first they really appreciate it but after a while I think their eyes glaze over from sugar comas. I then have to seek out other grateful parties.

Last night after searching for some kind of recipe with which to experiment, I decided on Pudding Cookies! The recipe is actually from the Wannabe Chefs (found:http://wannabechef.blogspot.com/2004_12_01_wannabechef_archive.html) Sorry about not linking it...

I made chocolate pudding cookies with both peanut butter and milk chocolate chips and this is who i gave them to:
My boyfriends roommate
My office mates
My boyfriend's neighbor and finally
My boyfriend's young work companion (his name is Phil! Don't you love that name?!)

I've heard nothing but rave reviews from the outcome of this recipe! I must say they were very easy to make!

I'm spreading all sorts of joy through this little world of mine! I have to say I feel vulnerable when I can't taste what I make. I don't know if what I created is tasty enough for others tastebuds. I get self concious when I make something and it isn't OUTSTANDING! I find it is beneficial to provide myself with some confidence before giving the baked goods away. Usually by eating half of what i made! :)

We have bananas that are ripe for bread too! I made banana bread last weekend so I need an alternate recipe for something...any suggestions???

CORNFUSED YET?!

2005-03-16T12:12:00.000-08:00

BE Afraid!! Don't look at the below postings..."technologically incapable" just threw up all over my blog! For the world to see!

I hate for you to see me like this. I feel so ... vulnerable!

haha i'm a dummy

2005-03-16T12:11:00.000-08:00

Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.

2005-03-16T12:08:00.000-08:00

i think i just fucked it up! ha ha ha! Aww! here we go...i'll not delete that post this time! jeez!

2005-03-16T11:44:00.000-08:00

wanna comment don't ya! wanna remember your comment by the time you are able to comment don't ya! here ya go!

2005-03-16T11:43:00.000-08:00

Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.

who needs a title? i didn't write a book or anything!

2005-03-15T17:54:00.000-08:00

When I set forth on a personal journey I'm pretty strict as to what I'm doing. I carry out my goal to the extent i decided in the beginning it should be carried out.
what did i just say?

Well the short version is simply this, i do what i say i'm going to do because i'm a damn freak who has major control issues especially on myself.

So I've been on one of my strict dietary regimens and... along comes Aunt Flo. I've come to realize that Aunt Flo is a damn whore. She tries to ruin everything! Self Esteem!? Who wants any part of that? Men? Oh no, stay away! The one and only thing Aunt Flo can't do without is chocolate. Which brings me to my point. I found this http://www.pureimaginationchocolatier.com (not because i was looking for it...well, yes, i was!) and it is all i can do but bust through the screen to enjoy them.

I haven't and won't do anything rash. However, you will no doubt see it's just so difficult!

Pressure! Pushin down on me...*

2005-03-14T20:46:00.000-08:00

To Haloscan or not to Haloscan

Everyone ELSE is doing it!

I'm old fashioned. I LIKE the new and slightly improved (when it works) blogger commenting...if i change now, who knows what other fun upgrades they'll make!? I want to know! You will want to know.

*another devastating stab at lyrics i'm sure to have gotten incorrect! i suck! (brad doesn't mind though)

2005-03-11T06:22:00.000-08:00

i composed a daringly clear and concise detail regarding my displeasure of bloggers decision to be a whore yesterday.
alas it was yesterday that i tried to publish it and well, you know the story of yesterday.
so there is no point in reviewing the events leading to my annoyance.
there is only today and beyond. AND today is FRIDAY!! WOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

Testing

2005-03-11T06:20:00.000-08:00

A ONE, TWO

2005-03-11T05:21:00.000-08:00

P.S.

2005-03-07T22:36:00.000-08:00

Remember how i was oh so happy to get my lap top? Fixated on toting it around and blogging whenever I wanted? More importantly was wherever I wanted.

Well i was slapped briskly into reality when visiting my local starbucks...whereupon I discovered, wifi is NOT free?! WTF?! Why not!?!

Becoming filled with rage, i queried to myself, isn't wifi an element of service to the customer? A tool, if you will, to bring customers to your establishment? I now have to pay for this tool? Ridiculous! Ludicrous! Preposterous!

I imagine I will have to start paying a small fee for the baristas to grind my coffee before brewing? i will have to start paying for the half and half I leisurely add to my coffee? For the Splenda of which I steal a handful with each visit?

It isn't enough I spend $1.80 for a cup of coffee? I now have to pay for a service which brings me to the Starbucks as well? Well FUCK YOU Starbucks*! Caribou Coffee? Fuck YOU too!

I'm headed to Stauf's and the local coffee joints to log in to the net for FREE!!!! I will enjoy my coffee and surf the net while spending ONLY $1.80! Take That!

*I'm sorry I do still love you! I can't help it! You put crack in your coffee!

Because I don't want to suck BIG time!

2005-03-07T12:51:00.000-08:00

I love James (the group, not the kid w/ the giant peach) and for two days in a row, their song "Say Something" has graced my ear drums' fancy! I love this song and I feel so fortunate to be hearing it again!

I used to have the cd until it was STOLEN! These things happen when you let upteen people borrow cd's in college. Whoa is me.

Now then, I only suck medium time! so there!

It's Going to Become an Epidemic!

2005-03-02T07:58:00.000-08:00

(please click the Tim's Blog button for your reference to the origin of the madness!)

Now, here are the rules for this Blog-a-thon. I'll offer to interview the next three (or so) people to respond to this post that will follow these rules:

1. Leave me (Dominique) a comment saying "interview me."
2. I will respond by asking you five questions here. They will be different questions than the ones below.
3. You will update your blog/site with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

I’d first like to say that these are thought provoking questions. I have enjoyed pondering my response. Now on with the show!

1. You get to relive one day of your life. You can’t change anything about it, you just get to relive it for memory’s sake. What day are you reliving?

I don’t think it would be any particular day but I’d like to relive a day in my life when I was 5 years old. I think it would be awesome to be 5 years old again! I had such a great childhood that any day in my youth would be awesome to relive. I miss being lil Miss Dominique with not a care in the world, catching lightning bugs in the summer nights, playing tv tag with all the neighbors, running around barefoot, and riding my big wheel. Those were the days!

2. Do you think exercise machines enjoy beating you up?

Exercise machines laugh at the maliciousness with which they beat my body. The funny thing is that I am the willing party to their severe and unending torture!

3. For the next 4 years you will be given a $50K/year stipend so you don’t have to work. What are you going to do with all your free time?

A dream come true Timmy, a dream come true. I will take Brad to Europe to travel and fluff off for 2 years. Enjoying our opportunity to Spend time in all of these places, learning about the culture and experiencing them not just as a vacation. After 2 years in Europe, I would like to travel outside to other countries as well (we could determine those destinations as we see fit) for the third year’s venture. The last year I would concentrate on compiling all that I’ve gained from my travels, photos, journals etc. and write a book making millions so I will never have to work again in my life except to raise my family and service my husband.

4. The winner gets the car of their dreams. You and Brad have 6 months to prepare. The winner is whoever is in better shape. Who gets the car?

6 months is a long time … it is a toss up. If there is any competitive force behind a goal then both Brad and I are seriously dedicated. I would win though. I am a woman and we all know that women are always the winners!

5. One of the classic signs that someone is about to commit suicide is that they give away their most valued possessions, if you were going to kill yourself, what would you give away and to whom?*

My most valued possessions are the pictures, notes and journals I’ve collected/written through the years, detailing all of my experiences and my life. I think it would be the most cruel thing in the world to bestow this sort of fossilization of myself to someone I loved before I killed myself…however it would be all the wonderful memories chronicling my life…I’d give these things to my best friend Amy. (sorry, someone’s got to have it and I know in time she’d appreciate it.)

*indicates I ran out and stole the question from Branshine

Happy March ONE everybody!

2005-03-01T06:11:00.000-08:00

It is March 1st. Wow! I canNOT believe it! Especially since there is a mother fucking snowstorm attacking our city! Swirly white snow is wrapping around my once warm environment! It is like 10 degrees! TEN! The wind is so blistery that without gloves, your hands will become fossils in ice! I've got the space heater going full blast and my toes are toasty but my nose and fingers are freezing!

Spring, Spring, where are you? I NEED you! Rain and warmth is better than this shit! Yes, Californians IT IS!!!

Ahem!

2005-02-25T10:28:00.000-08:00

Gather around children, i'm going to visit a pet peave of mine that you would most assuredly share if you were me. maybe you concur regardless of the fact that you aren't me ...it really doesn't matter.

First, speaking out loud to yourself on a consistent basis is unacceptable. and ANNOYING!

Second, when you are speaking out loud to yourself so loudly as to hear yourself over background noise ...it is just...i mean....*nervesgrating* ASININE!

Follow the leader

2005-02-24T11:19:00.000-08:00

Why? One word, Because.

Accent: I’ve got one but no one is quite sure where it’s from …

Bra size: teen (ha!)

Chore I hate: dishes when they are piled into the sink and beyond…BRAD!

Dad's name: Donald

Essential make-up products: Huh? What is this, make…up…?

Favorite perfume: anything smelling like coconuts. I’m a bath and body spritz freak! (I love my chance by chanel too!)

Gold or silver?: Platinum

Hometown: OH….IO

Interesting fact: "How Now Brown Cow" still makes no sense

Job title: Sucker that sits in front of computer answering phones 8-10 hrs a day!

Kids: yeah right, I still consider myself one

Living arrangements: moving into a condo w/ one of my best friends! Whee!

Mom's Birthplace: Michigan!

Number of apples eaten in the last week: Mmm apples…zero!

Overnight hospital stays: thank goodness zero!

Phobia: being at this job another year!!!

Question you ask yourself a lot: why am I still at this job?!!!!!??????

Religious affiliation:I was baptised Catholic…go to church every once in a while…

Siblings: One brother

Time I wake up: most mornings 4:30am…sucks I know!

Unnatural hair color: after years of highlights, I grew it out and now it is light brown fo real!
Vegetable I Refuse to Eat: Cauliflower…unless there is so much cheese melted on it that I can’t taste the actual vegetable.

Worst habit: Picking! I pick at everything! If there is a mirror that magnifies my image...the picking will ensue for hours at a time (if undetected by my boyfriend)

X-rays?: Teeth (why does the dentist insist on these x-rays every 6 months? NOTHING has changed in 6 mos. I can guarantee that shit!

Yummy food I make: Yummy for whom? Haha Everyone loves my Oatmeal cookies. I feel I make a spectacular protein pancake…though I have some adversaries on that one!

Zodiac sign: Taurus! Stubborn to beat hell. (whatever that phrase means?)

Update

2005-02-23T19:25:00.000-08:00

this is the coat to which i was referring to a while back...(i received from my hottest man for V-day!) i'm now capable of using the internet... wireless ... on my new laptop!!! GET excited!

I'm.Alive...I'm.Alive...I'm Alive. ...Dead!

2005-02-22T06:58:00.000-08:00

This morning i almost died. (super dramatic)
I started this new cardio program last week. Actually it doesn't do justice to what I mean by "cardio" and "program." By "Cardio" I mean, body moving at velocity and intensity which should only come about if I am being chased by a vehicle moving at 50mph.
By "Program" I mean, different and twice daily cardio sessions reaping the same reward that a sledghammer would have if you beat your body with it.
Now then I'm sure you can't imagine such a state of torture so I will here and now detail for you this a.m.'s torture session. (mind you, all the torturous sessions are different)
Walk 3.5 setting on 0% incline for 5 minutes.
Walk 3.0 setting on 12% incline for 7 minutes.
Run 5.5 setting on 8% incline for 7 minutes.
Run 7.5 setting one minute 0% incline
Jump off do pop squats for 30 sec.
Run 7.5 setting one minute
Jump off do pop squats for 30 sec.
Run ....etc.
run/squats for duration 10 minutes!!!!

I consider myself in okay cardiovascular condition but after doing this, i'd say i'm in not okay cardiovascular condition. in fact i'd say i'm downright incompetent after my pathetic performance this morning and all last week.

Brad (my boyfriend) is all, "I could do it, it's not that hard." Right, as a freaking SPECTATOR it isn't hard at all is it? I am going to put his arse to the torture that I subject my arse to and we'll see what happens! He won't be able to walk for a week! He thinks he's sweet since he did two-a-days for football. Dude that was like 10 years ago! You can't carry that stamina through 10 years! (hi Brad! getting a good view of the tread from the tires on the bus?) haha

Remember! When in doubt, pinky out!

I'm going to sit on my ass, put my feet up and answer the phones for 8 hours now. Whoopee!

Miss Kitty!

2005-02-16T08:39:00.000-08:00

I'm right here!!! Here!!!

I've just been kinda blah, you know, cause i live in OHIO! I did have a really FANCY valentines day! thanks for askin!

We had sushi!!! Mmm! And Seaweed salad!! AND Chocolate Volcano cake!(not at the sushi restaurant, don't worry!) It was all so fantastic! I must give props to the sushi place for making the most outstanding eel hand roll my taste buds have ever had the pleasure of experiencing!

My hottest boyfriend donned me this this wicked awesome coat that I've wanted for a month now, from Banana Republic! I'll host the picture once I get to my REAL 'puter! I love it!

I'm sorry for the cynical non valentine celebrators...i was once like that...i didn't have a sign. other either. One day, you will enjoy it...even when the candy isn't half off!

Floss Schmoss

2005-02-16T06:21:00.000-08:00

Do you ever get something caught in your teeth and after all feasible options of trying to set it free (ie: water swishing, fingernail probing, tongue assaulting etc.) try to use a hair from your head to floss it out? Yeah, I'm asking YOU. If you said, "YES!" You will no doubt share in this phenomena. When your hair, instead of being an "organic, all natural" sort of floss, gets stuck in your teeth too! You are really S.O.L. at that point.

oh my!!! OH my!!!

2005-02-11T06:14:00.000-08:00

HOW MUCH FUN IS THE COMMENTS SECTION NOW??? I love it! What about it do I love you might ask?!

Well first, the pictures! How cute are everyone's little photo i.d.?! Except Timmy...dude the techno color dots aren't doin you justice.

The choice of "other" instead of just anonymous and your user! I mean, I've often thought "other" would be a better description for me than anonymous! Wow! I mean it doesn't have that damning quality "anonymous" does.

There isn't much else to point out...

I hope you too will enjoy the comment section as much as Martin and I! (click on the wet noodle for the abysmal amount of comment section praise!)

Will You Marry Me? How About a Pickle?

2005-02-10T07:46:00.000-08:00

I am not a snob per se. I mean, sometimes I admit I do have snob-like tendencies. What I'm about to say is somewhat snobbish however I think I can freely say that no self respecting woman would be satisfied in this instance!

The instance where you would receive your engagement ring purchased from Sam's Club!!!??? Those who have no Sam's Club, think Costco!

If you can pick up a 10 gallon bucket of pickles along with your engagement ring...that is a problem!

So all you men out there take heed! Sam's Club is on par with the gumball machine. If ever you decide to subject yourself to committing to some female for eternity, shopping at bulk foods places aren't suggested for your loved one's ring!

Does your mom eat sunchips, sunchips?

2005-02-09T08:09:00.000-08:00

Welcome back SUNCHIPS! When I was in high school, I loved, loved, loved my Harvest Cheddar Sunchips. Then while in school in BFE (butt fucking egypt)those grocers apparently weren't capable of shipping more than one flavor of Sunchips. Regular! Blech!

So a couple weeks ago after not having thought of those glorious Sunchips in a very long time, in walks a bag. You know, not w/ it's own legs but parceled in with other groceries with my boyfriends roommate! SWEET! Harvest Cheddar Sunchips I've missed you!!!

They tasted just as great as I remembered! I even went out and bought a bag this week.

For those of you WN graduates of 1996, sing it with me, YOUR MOM EATS SUNCHIPS, SUNCHIPS!

Office Ass Ovoidance

2005-02-08T08:41:00.000-08:00

I'm still here and somehow "here" is calling. That song by goo goo dolls has never made more sense to me. My head is out in an unknown universe. Desultory thoughts are bumping and grinding in my cranial region. Some work related, most not.

First of all, I need to find some sunshiny goodness in my daily dealings with the 8 hour stint I spend at a place we all call, work.
The rays of light are nary seen. (don't you love the word nary?) (sounds like hairy and THAT rocks!)
After 3 years, this old hat needs to move to a new head! (hee, hee, *thinkingwhatagreatmetaphorijustcreated*)

I'm tired, tired, tired, tired, tired of being a useless body in a chair situated in front of a computer. I want to free myself from office ass, free myself of phone answering, finger typing, clerical bull shit.

Any suggestions?

Nude Euchre...the next big card playing fad!

2005-02-04T06:49:00.000-08:00

America has been overrun with the game of poker. What the hell is going on? Everyone is playing poker!? I'm astounded at the magnitude of popularity this game has suddenly gained! No offense Timmy but I think just like my pet rock, chia pet, light brite, and other people popular items, this too will go down in the history books as "one of those fads." (hopefully not for a while for your business's sake!)

I guess if I ever played poker, I could be better accredited to actually comment on the game. I have played it once, very poorly and not for money.

Let me detail for you this one and only incident of poker. It was a long time ago, before my legal drinking age had been acquired. I was 20 years old, a raging alcoholic college student and it was Saturday night. When my friends and I were at dueling ages, (some 20 years old, some 21) we had to split up in groups. We would all start out together at a party then those who had an awesome fake i.d. or a legitimate i.d. would head to the bars. The rest of us, we stayed behind.

So on a night such as this where half the party hit the scene, 8 of us were left with not much to do but play drinking games and get annihilated. This particular night it was suggested we play poker. Not just any poker though, strip poker!

It went something like...Great, first of all, who here knows how to play poker? Oh, only two of you? The only two males here, you know how to play poker and none of us girls do? Awesome! Let's get started! After an hour, probably less, both guys were FULLY clothed and all of us girls were in our bra and panties. Oh wait, I think my friend Brad had given up a shoe. So it finally came down to my friend Kerri who had to remove either her bra or her panties. That was not going to happen. Apparently we weren't inebriated enough. Regardless that is when the game ended and we happily turned the heat back down and put all our clothes on!

I'm sure like any game, if you are good at it, it is fun. I love, love, love Euchre! I hope this will be the next great fad! I should start the ball rolling now! Though Euchre isn't a nationally known game...just over here in the East. We could play it naked too to make it more interesting!

What does YOUR sb party invitation look like?

2005-02-03T07:42:00.000-08:00

SPIZZLE BIZZLE DAY

What: A football game between the over confident Patriots and the over rated Eagles

Why: Supposedly the game was originated to decide the NFL champion, but since the retirement of Boomer Essiason from football, it has been the event to showcase amazing commercials and elderly pop-singers boobs

Where: Although the game is played somewhere we don't care about... it can be watched on a TV set at (residence in Ohio), also known as Miche's and Bratt's house

Who: All people are invited, Aaron however will be in Vegas, please pass all bets to him, prior to his departure on Thursday.

When: I don't know, but look and see what time the game starts and then e-mail, call, or just show up somewhere close to that time.

FAQs
What should you bring? Something to drink, and any snacks you might want to share w/ the group. We will have minuteman pizza cater the event as usual.

Can I invite my friends? Of course, invite one and all, we will have a great time and the more the merrier.

Will we be playing football at halftime? The answer is no... however naked snow-angels while we all laugh are always welcome.

I look forward to seeing you all there.

Peace, love, and a little chubb

Do you remember?

2005-02-02T10:38:00.000-08:00

Polly Pocket?! I just remembered her while professing my love for my boyfriend and wanting to be a traveler in his pocket so I could never miss him! (Gay I know, shut up!)

So do you remember her? Timmy, you surely had one! She was hard plastic and I think she had removable parts? I'll google her to find out more! Yay, remembering the past is so cool! Too bad my brain is clogged with malted hops and bong resin...

Oh my goodness! Looky what I found! http://www.inthe80s.com/toys/p.shtml

Seriously do you remember Perfection? The only other game that could come close to giving us children a massive coronary thrombosis was Operation! I loved these games!!! They scared the shit out of me but it was so worthwhile!

I hate to get political but...

2005-02-02T06:16:00.000-08:00

Per CNN:
"One of the chief domestic goals of Bush's second term is an overhaul of Social Security. In a news conference in January, the president said the program is in a state of crisis and will be bankrupt by the time a worker in his mid-20s retires.

(my favorite)
He recommends letting workers create private savings accounts as a solution to the problem. Under the president's plan, employees could set aside some of the money they contribute to Social Security into a private savings account.
The accounts would be regulated and would, according to the president, generate a higher rate of return than money contributed to Social Security."

Sure, great idea but um...what about the thousands and thousands of dollars I've already contributed to Social Security? Hmm? Also I've heard Bush is lying about the state of Social Security and that he will make a lot of money by overhauling it.

Since tax time is coming around, I look to see how much money the government has gang raped from my "hard earned" paychecks. This ellicits a red hot rage that cannot be controlled! Especially now since I am paying the government to fund a war that the country wants no part in. I sure as fuck want no part in funding this war! As well, it goes to you know paying for billion dollar inaugurations and what not. Sweet!

I scream, cry, and complain with each paycheck's tax pillage to which my father says, "You pay these taxes to live in a free country" I counter with, "it sure as fuck isn't free if I'm paying for it!" To which he says, "you are paying for a democracy." I won't get into the rest of the conversation because I know that NO ONE is happy to pay our corrupt federal, state, local, medicare and social security taxes.

I would also like to point out that if ever it were the case that instead of directly withdrawing the money for taxes from our paychecks, that every tax payer at the end of the year would have to write a check...there would be a tax revolution. I wouldn't write the check. I'd move to another country for a while. Fuck Em! I hate taxes!

I am not looking forward to listening to our idiot president's State of the Union address. What an ASS!

Old News

2005-02-01T08:07:00.000-08:00

I saw a bumper sticker this morning that said something to the effect of "ban the french" There was a picture of the French flag with a slash through it. This American idiot made my morning commute a little more entertaining. As I envisioned myself getting out of my car and tap, tap, tapping on his window. I had a conversation I wanted to strike up with him/her.

Remember when Americans hated the French? There was that whole ordeal about the French not supporting us with the war etc. etc. Who cares?! To what end does it matter? Weren't there other countries equally as unsupportive? (yes!)

I don't support the war. I support our troops because I don't want them to die but I don't agree with the reason they are there. (Why the fuck are they there?) Should there be a bumper sticker made to ban me? Ban Dominique because she agrees with the French. There will be a picture of me smiling, holding the French flag with a nice red slash through it.

Freedom fries? I mean come the fuck on?! Let's change the name of our french fries because the word FRENCH is in it!

RETARDED!

Americans are so full of themselves! Oh, I am an American, everyone in every country should love me! (wait, everyone does love me!)(never mind)

TFGIFF

2005-01-28T05:54:00.000-08:00

Happy Thank Fucking Goodness It's Fucking Friday to everyone!!!

This weekend should be a good one! Tonight after I work out, I'm going to go spend a retarded amount of money on a stuffed animal!!! You know those "build a bear" stores? Well my best friend and I got gift certificates for Christmas at such a store so as to wield our creative genius!

We are going to stuff the insides of a creature we deem appropriate and snuggle with it a minute or two. Our efforts will most undoubtedly create a wonderful stuffed animal which will have a predetermined fate. Being that my best friends animal will get eaten up by her doggies. Mine will end up somewhere weird, like under my bed collecting dust for the remaining days of my life. However, while cleaning under my bed every month or so, I will pull it out, dust it off and note my ingenuity in making such a masterpiece of fluff!

Saturday night is GAME NIGHT!!!! For those of you who love Balderdash, Cranium and other largely hilarious group games, you are so jealous!!!! There is nothing more fun than cheating, I mean, playing games with a large group of friends. The madness that ensues is sheer entertainment!

Have a great weekend!!

Fucking Wednesday

2005-01-26T06:21:00.000-08:00

You know, instead of Hump Day we should refer to Wednesday as Fucking Day. It's just got a nicer ring to it I think. Wednesday is especially sedate in the office which tends to slow time down so much that I'd liken it to following around an 80 year old in the grocery store. Nipping at their feet the whole time, wanting to go faster but not able to pass them. Anxious as hell behind them as they shuffle ever so slowly, careful to read every damn package on every shelf of every product ever made. Fucking old people! Wow. I've got some pent up anger I think. I like my grandparents and all but if they are in front of me...they better move outta the way! What? You feel the same way! Don't deny it!
I'll be happy whem I am 70 years old shuffling around slowly in the store. I won't have any shame! (i'm not living to be 80 though! you can't make me!)

Right on, now onto another subject! Who says this, "thank you much" What is that? I hear it all day every day. "thank you much" how does this make sense? it doesn't! suck!

oh my gosh! the funniest thing ever! I've never laughed so hard (yes i have). I was talking on the phone a while ago w/ my best friend. We are talking and the conversation winds down after an hour (yeah we have a lot to talk about!) then all the sudden she says, "Oh crap, I've got something important to tell you" then the phone goes dead. I look incredulously at the phone like, "i can *NOT* believe that just happened!?" So I am stoked to hear what this important thing is and I start to laugh thinking she did it on purpose? maybe?
I call her back and I'm all, "so what is it? what is so important?" she starts laughing and tells me she did it on purpose. I was crying laughing, what an awesome prank! I mean it took me like 10 minutes to stop laughing. it is that hysterical laugh kind of like after you scare someone on purpose? why is that so funny? have you ever scared someone in the shower? I will laugh so hard that i can't catch my breath, i have to concentrate on not laughing. just the image of the scared person is absolutely hysterical. i'm chuckling to myself right now!
in any event, if you are feeling down and you need a good pick me up, call someone you love and talk for a while then pop the "oh my gosh, I forgot to tell you!" then hang up! i swear it is the greatest!!!

You take dead animals to the vet?

2005-01-25T06:47:00.000-08:00

I'd take you to the vet!

My come back lines are about as good as Chris Farley's in Tommy Boy. I suck. It makes for a more humorous conversation though!

I'll say hesitantly "shuuut up" or "you're the one..." in reaction to my subjection of routine ridicule.

It is pretty pathetic really. I think that with my vernacular at hand, I could think of something witty. However it is always the case that the most witty come backs occur to me a good half hour AFTER the fact. Then I have a good chuckle to myself, hoping next time I'll be on my toes and prepared for the "witty" to occur. It doesn't ever happen like that, but my hopes keep me dredging through this cruel, cruel world. hee hee

That is all.

Mommy, Mommy the Rhino's getting too close to the car!

2005-01-19T08:13:00.000-08:00

Watching the Discovery Channel is an addiction that I need to start battling against.

You would think, learning about the world and its various realities would prove fulfilling for your mind. Sure, you think that until you learn something you wouldn't mind being ignorant about. No, scratch that, you learn shit that you wish to God you did not know!

Who the hell are the directors in charge of programming for this channel? They are creating a world of invisible monsters to wreak havoc on my otherwise non-threatening existance!

What the Discovery Channel has done now is made me aware of mites. Mites! Have you seen these little beasts? Ewwww! They are EVERYWHERE! In your pores, eyebrows, all over your face and in your pillows!

I was talking with a friend (Hi James!) We were discussing how he washes his pillows every month to avoid an India-like population (before the tsunami) of mites than if he weren't to wash them at all. My response to this, "You wash your pillows? You can DO that?" Obviously I didn't get that memo.

Though I have been aware of these mites for some time (thank you Discovery Channel summer of 1997) (why i remember this detail of "when" (and i can't remember yesterday ?): this "discovery" segment was involving miniscule creatures (obviously) but I remember it was summer time because this certain species (can't recall their identity)(this could most assuredly be a blessing!) of the little critters were rampant in hot, humid climates. which then reminded me of the weather at that time and the increase of "said" critters population because of the summer conditions, eww! I was in college then thus I had nothing better to do then sit home on my summer break and watch TV!!!) (and I had some brain cells left to remember what I watched)

ANYWAYS! The most cognizant area I envision these atrocious mites is in my eyebrows! I swear I can FEEL them in there! I do battle with them using my fingers. I automatically push my eyebrows back into place after feeling even the most remote tingle in the hair follicles! I think, those fuckers are on the move again! They eat your dead skin, did you know that? They are all over your face! In your pores and follicles. They are some UGLY mother fuckers too!

I imagine they congregate in my eyebrow area for the most dense amount of dead follicle action and of course for the best protection against the elements! I wonder if they have an army in the left eyebrow that battles the right eyebrow's army. Follicle fighters!

Point is they are ugly and I think about them on a daily if not hourly basis.

Thanks Discovery Channel. What was once a life living free of miniscule follicle eaters, is now corrupt at the thought of mangy looking mites digesting my face and eyebrows. Mmm.

A (terrible) (but passionate) Ode to Tazo

2005-01-18T19:27:00.000-08:00

Tazo Tea, I'm in Love with Thee!!!!
I've been all about your Passion Tea
For it was the best i could imagine Possibly!

However from random choice at the supermarket
I've found a tea to which my desire's stronger than a hippie's for a bong hit

It is the Oh so delectable blend of Black Tea, cinnamon, pepper and star anise
My dear lord there is no explanation that can quite explain a love such as this

Tazo Chai, It is I who has longed to drink you
I love the spice that makes my taste buds coo

That is all.

Don't run away from your feelings!

2005-01-18T08:02:00.000-08:00

My new (to me) saying is: That's what SHE said.

I think it is super funny. Especially after someone says something like: "Dominique, we are late, let's go!" I'll say, "that's what she said!" hahaha Then ... they'll be like, "Seriously, get your stuff, let's go." I say, "that's what she said!" hahaha

Awesome!

No Point

2005-01-18T06:56:00.000-08:00

Why is there a Nutrition label on Water? Calories: 0 Fat: 0 Sodium: 0 Carb: 0 Protein: 0
A genius put that label together, I'll tell you what!

"I'll tell you what" I just noticed this really makes no sense. Sounds like a southern/hick saying...you know because they hardly ever make sense. Aww! Southern folk are nice, they just don't have the particular phonetic grasp on the English language that the northerners do.

(Yes, Tim, the time is jacked up, don't look at it if you don't like it!!) ; )

50 Things Because I'm Fucking Bored and Can't Think of 100

2005-01-14T18:33:00.000-08:00

1. What's my name? Shut the fuck up!
2. This morning I got to work and upon getting out of my truck, I locked myself out of it. Yep, keys, purse, everything locked up. (they got me locked out, they won't let me in)
3. I then proceeded to make coffee with too many grounds causing a fucking watery, coffee grounds MESS!
4. I'm wearing black and all my detached hair shows up so wonderfully well on it.
5. My Ten Year High School Reunion is next year...how depressing is that?!
6. Why did i just use uppercase on all those words?
7. I'm drinking Starbucks Cielo something or other because my boyfriend so graciously brought it to me, before even knowing about my coffee making inability this a.m.
8. The taste isn't that great...but better than a cup full of grounds!
9. I told my boss he needs his eyebrows waxed (he totally does)
10. This one time at band camp...
11. I was never in band...in fact my highschool extra curricular activities included: drinking, hanging out, going to concerts, sometimes studying, driving around aimlessly with friends with nothing to do...drinking. Basically preparing for college!
12. I work out (with my boyfriend) 6 days a week and take Wednesdays off.
13. You would hardly believe the amount of water I consume in a day.
14. I can't wait to get my tax return!
15. You don't have to be beautiful to turn me on.
16. PK turned me on to this fantastic boredom banisher.
17. My favorite colors are pink and black...to wear.
18. I love words and dictionaries.
19. My most favorite gum is Extra Wildberry Frost/Extra Bubble Gum/Orbit Bubblemint/Orbit Cinnamint. I chew a lot of gum daily.
20. I absolutely love techno, Paul Oakenfold and DJ Tiesto are among my most favorite.
21. I turned 21 in Barcelona whilst hooping it up until I puked in the bathroom, crawled out (hands and knees folks) and was dragged home by a good friend who put me in bed.
22. I have an addiction to stationary, stickers and pens.
23. I like my men (one in particular) muscular and confident (NOT cocky!)(not meatheaded)
24. Google is by far the best invention. Got a question? GOOGLE IT!!! Wonder whether or not your man/woman is right for you? GOOGLE IT! Want a picture of Mel Torme's hiney? No? okay.
25. Holy crap, how the hell can you get to 100 when I'm wondering how I'll get to 50? Halfway there!
26. Last night I dreamt my mom was cooking using ingredients that only consisted of chocolate: chocolate bars (still wrapped in aluminum) peanut m&m's, white chocolate shaped into leaves? She had a pot full of m&m's heating on the stove? I think I'm craving some cooked chocolate, what about you?
27. I love my boyfriend more than any man I've dated ever. He rules!
28. Saw an episode of Sponge Bob for the first time and laughed my ass off!
29. I'm gullible as hell. For example: My boss told me that there will be a shortage of fish (tilapia is a staple in my diet) now because of the Tsuami and that it is going to triple in price. I exclaimed, REALLY?!? He said, No.
30. Plutonium is by far the best element. It's just fun to say, Plutonium. How's your plutonium? Good thank you...Oh! You're breaking the beakers! (if you know what i'm talking about, you can join my club)
31. I read where 67% of Americans are either fat or obese. That is just sick/sad!
32. Texas is a state that breeds idiocy/lunacy.
33. I enjoy reading Maxim and Playboy. I have a subscription to Maxim thanks to a really good friend of mine! Thanks Charlie!!
34. I started reading Augusten Burrough's Running With Scissors but had to give it back before I was halfway through because the library said so! Meanies!
35. The Police/Sting, Elton John and Fleetwood Mac are seriously timeless! I love them forever and always!
36. I love comments on my blog so much! Especially if it makes me laugh!
37. I miss college. I had a blast and now...not so much.
38. I'd like to take a year and travel all over Europe. Any sponsors willing to fund me?!
39. My hands have some sweet calouses on them from lifting. It's fun to pick at.
40. I use special prescription deodorant so I don't sweat in the armpit region. This is the greatest invention!
41. I'm infatuated/obsessed with tweezing, picking and prodding. My boyfriend leaves me nothing in which to carry out my freakish desire to pick/pluck/prod. Damn him!
42. Though I once pulled a hair from his nostril region which was the FUNNIEST thing ever! His pain was my pleasure. Aww sorry love, you have to admit it was funny!
43. (He'll never let me do it again)
44. I have an unnatural desire to be hairless. I'm not a big fan of hair unless it is attached to my head.
45. I love my friends and very much value our relationship, even if we haven't spoken in a while. I love you guys!
46. I get a kick out of q-tipping my ears...it feels so good!
48. I'm almost OUTTA HERE!
49. anyone notice i skipped 47?
50. Yahoo! Have a great weekend!!!

So...

2005-01-14T08:44:00.000-08:00

Okay I'm over the Jennifer and Brad thing already. You know this is going to be the news for like EVER. That is until an unlikely celebrity marries or starts dating the epitome of disaster. Kind of like Britney and the sorry ass she's with. Whoa that was kind of harsh.

In other non related news, the sun decided to come out in Ohio. After suffering a week's worth of rain with above normal temperatures of 60+ degrees, it is now sunny AND THIRTY DEGREES! We get punished one way or another!

On Tap This Weekend: Babysitting a 2 and a 4 year old with my boyfriend. Welcome to the single most effective birth control. This should be an interesting glimpse into parenting as well! I'm actually excited, these boys, albeit fiercely high energy, are quite a fun pair!

I saw this "thirst quenching" candy at the store today...what the hell is this? It said, when you get thirsty, quench it with this candy...er... Dude if you are thirsty, drink some WATER!

My cousin just revealed to me what could possibly be the greatest match made in heaven: Dark Chocolate Peanut Butter. Hook it up!!!

Hey Jude.

My abs are so sore from working out that it hurts to cough...YES!

No salvation

2005-01-13T18:26:00.000-08:00

Words/Sayings/Acts of Atrocity that should be banned. These *grittingteeth* fun and lovely occurrences are heard daily through my disgusted ears. Uttered by a VERY "special" person.

1. Asking people, "What was your name?" (why? past tense, always, WHY?????????)

2. Laughing like a maniac after every word out of your mouth. (it isn't funny, nothing you say is funny!!)

3. Saying, "You Bectcha" (self explanatory)

4. Constantly, and I mean constantly speaking to yourself OUTLOUD. I can hear you, why are you talking to yourself?

5. Coming to work (if you are this person) and otherwise ruining my (every) day because of it.

Shower Schmower

2005-01-13T08:08:00.000-08:00

Though I am a woman, I've come to find that what most women like, I don't. Why? Some characteristics I do not maintain as the society stipulated regulations reveal to be true about "most women."

Examples include: Shopping, I hate it. If I have an express purpose for my venture to the mall, that is okay. I cannot walk aimlessly through the mall with women friends and "shop." This to me is the worst form of torture.

The absolute lack of any inclination to attend Showers. Like Wedding showers, Baby showers etc. What the hell is the point of these things? Yeah, the celebrated person gets presents but for the attendees...it is pure and utter agony. Watching someone open gifts, while women chatter and coo incessantly is NOT a good time. (unless there is alcohol)

So when I was invited to a shower this weekend, you can imagine my disdain. First the invitation came from someone with whom I am not even friends nor "like." It is a co-workers wife. (I know for a fact there will be no alcohol)

Don't you love these random invites to something you now feel obligated to buy for even though you don't even like them? I don't. In any event, I didn't feel the least bit guilty about announcing my busy schedule whereby avoiding actually having to attend the shower. Whew!

popularity contests

2005-01-12T08:27:00.000-08:00

i realized in making my blog buttons again (took me long enough, eh?) that a lot of my fellow bloggers list their beloved everyday visited links in alphabetical order.

now as you can see, i did not follow suit. however, i was thinking, "i sure hope no one gets offended that they're listed 2nd, 3rd, 9th" etc. i mean it feels like a popularity contest at times.

take for example, tim (i'd link your address but html bar is absent today) listed me first in his list. i am so happy! yay! i'm #1! wahoo!

this then leads me to think, when reading the listing of my blog friends, i hope tim isn't like, "dude, third? what the hell is up with that?!"

i've decided that i'll switch up your button weekly. this way, you all will be in the #1 slot! yayee!

(yes i suffer from extreme boredom allowing for such options to become feasible)

true Sociology major...

2005-01-12T06:14:00.000-08:00

All the money that is dumping into the Tsunami efforts gets me a little irritated. Not that these people don't need help but to the degree American citizens are helping...it just makes me wonder why the hell we have so many people suffering in the US. I am a sociology major so i know that throwing money at the poor people wouldn't solve anything.
However, what about the taxes for nicer schools? When that issue comes around, everyone seems to become penniless. Money for education is squandered and we lose out on fully functional facilities allowing for maximum learning capacity. Higher paid teachers, up to date learning technology, the best books, smaller classroom settings for more individualized learning.
All of these things that can push our younger generations into a bright future. They are all lost because people don't pay attention to how important it is to support our schools. I don't give a damn if you don't have kids in school any longer or never did. This is the future. Why shouldn't we give them the best education with all the tools they need to succeed?!
America has shown how unselfish we can be for everyone else and surely after 911 we proved most generous to our own. However, I am talking about when there isn't a catastrophe of mass proportion. I am talking about the suffering every day that is in America and we pay it no mind.
There isn't one easy answer, but there are a lot of things we could be doing to help rectify the plaguing epidemics in American society.
Whew, thanks for reading.
*stepping away from podium*

2005 Ass Off!

2005-01-10T22:22:00.000-08:00

A lot of women wonder what guys sit around and talk about...just like a lot of guys wonder what women sit around and talk about. Well looky, looky. I'm the lady in the light ready to share all. Obviously I know what women sit around talking about, which is:

- Asses (w/sexual connotation)
- Sex (good and bad)
- Any drama in the "circle"
- Clothes
- Men we lust after
- Asses (w/excrement/flatulence connotation)
- Drama in relationships

What do men talk about?

- Football
- Boobs
- Asses (w/sexual connotation)
- Video Games
- Boobs
- Football
- Asses (w/excrement/flatulence connotation)
- (no they don't discuss sex, as most women think)

Now then. When witnessing the ever so eloquent conversations between boyfriend and roommate, a funny thing happened with the discussion of (excrement/flatulence)asses.

Essentially, Mr. Roommate declared his ass had the most smelly by product when tooting. Mr. Brad disagreed saying that after a diet of egg whites and spinach for a week he would no doubt trump any smell coming from Mr. Roommate's ass. Laughing at Mr. Roommate's definite demise in this battle, I touted that there is NO WAY he could clear the room the way Mr. Brad's ass could.

The Ass Off was then manifested and the gauntlet thrown down.

Mr. Roommate is threatening that with egg salad for just one day, he will no doubt defeat Mr. Brad's ass and his consumption of just egg whites and spinach for a week.

If there is any justice in the world, I will not have to mediate this contest. (yes this is really what we do in our spare time)

Brad and Jenn, say it isn't so!!!

2005-01-10T07:59:00.000-08:00

I almost crapped when I read last friday that Brad and Jenn were calling it quits. An amicable separation? WHY?! *sniff*

I was so looking forward to seeing Aniston's pregnant belly. The product of those two would have been perfection! I can't believe they are through?! 4 years! 4 years together and now this?!

They are (were, awww!) the most beautiful couple! I couldn't ever hate Jennifer for stealing Brad. She is just too adorable. They belonged together! I've lost all hope in Hollywood relationships. If they can't make it, no one can!

SINgular

2005-01-06T07:13:00.000-08:00

I used to wonder how cell phone companies made any money off their plans. I can understand they make a pretty penny off selling their phones! Especially since they can get up to $500 a pop. (i got mine free) But the plans themselves, I mean come on! You got plenty of rollover minutes, free nights and weekends and now mobile to mobile. I have Cingular so before long everyone will be mobile to mobile! Sweet, right?

Well I USED to wonder how cell phone companies made any money off their plans...until last month! HOLY SHIT MOTHER FUCK YOU! I got our cell phone bill and it was $309.42!!!! Regularly 49.00 a month! You can imagine my face, I thought for sure it was a typo!

A typo until I saw the per minute charge (.42) plus the minutes someone went WAY over!

First, don't believe the hype. Adding someone to your line for 9.99 will not turn out to be a deal. It will end up costing much more than that!

Second, I told the rep, "Naw, we won't use that many minutes, just keep my plan the same." You will NEED extra minutes! No matter what! Someday you will find this out and it hurts, oh it hurts!

Cell phone companies are evil! If Cingular paid upwards of billions of dollars to buy AT@T you damn well know, a lot of people are also going over their minutes!

Anyone else?

2005-01-05T13:01:00.000-08:00

Anyone else get a strange and stomach aching desire for pizza when visiting my blog?

No? Hmm, it sure is curious.

You Down Wit OCD?!

2005-01-05T08:31:00.000-08:00

YEAH you know me!

Well tis the season to acquire various colds, coughs, flu, herpes...(er..? maybe not) from co-workers! Right now my boss is battling influenza or something similar and a co-worker has some sort of ass virus that i want no part of!

In my bodies defense I turn OCD! Every morning I am the first to arrive. I get the bottle of 409 and Fantastic and spray anything that could have been manhandled by their disease infected hands. This includes; light switches, buttons on the microwave, door handles, key boards, phone receivers, pens for crying out loud! (I've gone really looney tunes!) I do not want to share anything with these people, especially their germs! Bleh! I also do touch ups through out the day.

Ridiculous, I know, but I'm not going to get whatever they wanna give me! I'm never this anal anywhere else. Just here. Just when one of the bees is sick. I also start popping vitamins like a mad woman!

Look what my work environment created! OCD, vitamin pill popping, snooze hitting, withdrawal from society having, tree hugging, gas hating, "team america fuck yeah"ing, jesus jones hating, small heater heatering, water guzzling, picky xm listener-ing MONSTER! (i might have derailed a little (okay a lot))

Nothing can stop me now!

DUDE!

2005-01-05T07:24:00.000-08:00

Why is it raining?! it is like 30 some odd degrees out and pouring down rain. suck!

Dude this song by Green Day rocks! Blvd. of Broken Dreams.

So my new years resolution is to not hit snooze at all (ordinarily i get a good 4-5 hits.) What do you think happened this a.m.? I hit it (twice)! Damn me!

When I told my boyfriend my new years resolution he laughed heartily for like 2 minutes. He's like, "I don't even give you a day!" I scoffed at him and said, "This will make my resolution that much more sweet when I am victorious!" So this a.m. before hitting snooze, I thought about Brad and his ability to read me like a book, Damn him!

Ever notice...

2005-01-04T07:40:00.000-08:00

Ever notice...in the Don't Walk blinking street signs, there are no apostrophes?

Ever notice...the more "diet" options that come out in America, the fatter America gets?

Ever notice...no one hand writes anything anymore? it is all printed out/stamped! i received Christmas cards where the sender didn't even sign their names! it was either stamped or computer printed! (you know who you are!)

Ever notice...i'm not much for capitalization? call it lazy pinky finger to the shift key syndrome, if you must call it something!

Ever notice...(women) the longer you are in a relationship, the longer your leg hair gets between shaving?

Ever notice...your eyebrows and shoulders are raised for an extended period of time where you'll finally realize this and relax and wonder why the hell you were doing this to begin with?

Ever notice...your decree to NEVER DRINK AGAIN after a really bad hangover lasts only a couple days or a week at best?

how was YOUR new year's eve celebration?!

2005-01-03T07:23:00.000-08:00

Mine? Great! Wanna know the highlights? Oh there were highlights!

Let me set the stage for you. We were put on the VIP list to a prestigious Hotel party where food and alcohol would NOT be included. This means, we were flaskn' it. I was the only female so of course it was my purse that contained all the booze. This was mistake number ONE! Under no circumstances should I ever be held responsible for pouring drinks. After a half hour and one shot of Jagermeister, I was obliterated. This meant, the drinks got stronger and stiffer! I would stumble into the bathroom, pour the liquor into our diet pops and stumble out.

Highlight #1: Whilst stumbling out of the bathroom a confrontation occurred. These are the events as relayed to me (I don't remember much from this night)

(Dominique runs into two women walking by the bathroom as she stumbles out)
Dominique: Watch out BITCHES!
Two girls: (Look back questioningly and keep walking) (thank god!)
Dominique: (walking up to brad and gigli) Did you see those BITCHES run into me?!
Brad: Sweetheart, you ran into them
Dominique: What?! SCREW YOU!! (flicking him off) Why are you on their side? Gigli, you saw what happened, they ran into me! At least Gigli is on my side! (as i punch Brad in the arm)

Can we say sloppy?

Score _______Rum & Diet Coke ------------ Dominique
__________1 ------------- 0

Highlight #2: Dominique falls on the floor. I seem to hold a record of drunk falls. Always with some assistance. (not just alcohol) This time it was the dance floor not perfectly symmetrical with the carpet. There was a small decline which perpetuated the fall. Luckily Brad was right there to one arm me off the ground as quick as I fell on it. Damn-it I love him. Ego was therefore left intact!

Rum & Diet ------------- Dominique
2 ---------------- 0

Highlight #3: Gigli decides to give Brad and I a huge hug and spills all of his drink down both our sides. From my shoulder to my foot, I was soaked. Thanks Gigli, it WAS you!

Highlight #4: After spilling of drink occurred, apparently some person of the male persuasion touched my arm. This enraged Brad, who was being held back by Gigli as Gigli yelled at him, "it was ME, it was ME!" talking about spilling his drink all over us. It was nothing other than mad confusion but apparently the person touching my arm high tailed it out of there!

Brad and I left at around 12:30 when apparently I parked my ass on the couch with my head hanging in defeat.

The next day was nothing less than the WORST HANGOVER EVER! I spent 9am to 9pm in puke position. Toast = Puke; Water = Puke; Puke = Puke

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!!!

A Guys Guide to Dating my Daughter

2004-12-30T07:51:00.000-08:00

Okay so I am the daughter in this scenario. (haha good thing since you all know I'm not a guy!)
My boyfriend is unlike any guy I've dated. In more than a trillion ways but specifically, he is extremely conscious of my Dad. He wants him to "approve of the man dating his daughter." So he does things in an effort to get in my dad's good graces.

I know for a fact that all you guys who really FANCY a woman are apt to become a bit more sensitive to dad's approval. These are some things to keep in mind when you are in dad's company.

1. Avoid speaking of anything to do with beds, bedrooms, night, sheets, being naked. If there is any remote chance the father could envision you having sex with his daughter, he will not like you.

2. When at all possible offer the father beer or a drink, offer to go out and buy beer for his consumption, bring beer with you when you come to his house. The more inebriated he his, the more conceivable he'll like you.

3. Never call him by his first name, even if invited. You should always remain cordial and proper with Mr. (insert last name) and Sir. These proper nouns keep the father's instictive territorial domination intact.

4. Talk about football. Let him know his daughter isn't dating a pansy so mention you played in high school and college. Men like manly men that can take care of their daughter. Don't ever mention playing sports like soccer and volleyball. These are high on the gay meter!

5. Never flirt with the Mrs. even if she is hot. And don't get caught staring at her chest either!

6. If you absolutely have to tell dad that you knocked up his daughter...make sure you are the one nearest the exit!

If there are more and I'm sure there are...let's hear 'em. I am obviously the daughter so I don't have first hand experience in the world of dad's from the guys perspective. I can tell you that my dad is difficult to please as it pertains to a suitable "courter" for me. So far, Brad is doing a hell of a job!

It's just one of those days

2004-12-29T10:36:00.000-08:00

Where you don't want to wake up...

That is me today! Oh and no html bar! I can't do fancy things on my blawg.

So check it, the sky is dark and dreary. It has warmed up some...a good 30 degrees I think. Which if you felt the 0 degrees you'd be loving this temperature! Supposedly it is going to be like 54 this friday! I shit you not, here in Ohio this will bring out people in shorts and short sleeve shirts! A heat wave in January! Who'd a thunk it?

OSU plays tonight in their "we lost all our players to the NFL and suck this year" bowl. I doubt I'll watch much of it but the freaky buckeye fever is contaminating the city for one last hurrah! For those of you who live in Texas, you better believe our "kind" is taking over San Antonio tonight!

2004 End of Year Expansion

2004-12-28T09:32:00.000-08:00

You can imagine my eyes bulging out of my head at the sheer enthusiasm of shopping with other people's money. It isn't a common occurrence so I thank my lucky stars when I get said opportunity.

HOWEVER

This enthusiasm has been contravened due to unforseen holiday "expansion". Yeah suckos I've expanded the waist line this year to more than my daily pants can handle. Causes of expansion? I'll list them!

World Gym what? I haven't stepped through their doors in a MONTH (absolutely unheard of)
Cookies (damn you holiday cookie cooks!)
Chocolate examples include: Peanut m&m's, chocolate covered espresso beans, assorted chocolates at my boyfriends, chocolate covered pretzels, hershey kisses and on.
Cheesy casseroles. You know what I'm referring to, cheesy potatos, cheesy broccoli and rice, cheesy cheese! Ahhh!
Complete and utter lazyness compiled with alcohol! Days spent on the couch watching nothing but football eating peanuts and cheese-its and drinking beer. (rough life)

I'm rather upset about the mere mention of trying on clothes. I think I'll be taking a rain check on my shopping adventure until I can fit into the pants I currently own. I can't imagine a more depressing shopping trip then to purchase "fat" pants! YIPES!!!

Another MC came and went

2004-12-28T06:54:00.000-08:00

Yay! Sometimes the HTML bar doesn't show up when I post from work but today it did! I can inflict you with links, different color schemes, bold print! Oh the possibilities are endless!

I hope you all enjoyed a wonderful Christmas celebration! As you might possibly know, here in Ohio we had what one could deem an ice/snow storm of sorts. Well being that I live in Ohio I know that we aren't equipped to deal with any "storm" in an efficient way. That being said, for two days (Thursday and Friday) we were without power (as were over 100,000 people in our area.) The thought of spending Christmas in a Hotel room was not the least bit enticing. Luckily (thanks Santa!) our power came on Christmas morning so we could open our gifts in a warm house of 72 degrees not the arctic house of 42 degrees!

So what did Santa bring me this year? You are going to think me odd (more so than usual) I got sleeveless work-out shirts with the word "nique" monogrammed on them! They are AWESOME! For those of you who know me, you won't think this is out of the ordinary. Since I try to spend every waking hour that I possibly can in the gym, this gift is so wonderful! Other than this and some other fun stuff, the 'rents granted my wish! I have to laugh because I was such a brat about not getting anything for Christmas but money. However now I can hit all the sales and get lots of fun clothes! Merry Christmas to me!

I want to know your most favorite present Santa brought to you!

There's a Skeeter on my Peter...Knock it off!

2004-12-22T08:39:00.000-08:00

Picture yourself in a soft and comfortable bed. You've been sleeping for about 4 hours and it has been a deep and wonderful 4 hours. There is a warm breeze coming through your hotel room sliding glass door filled with the intoxicating sounds of the ocean and salty air smells. Lovely isn't it?

All of the sudden you are JERKED awake abruptly by this foreign and uninvited noise in your ear, "bzzzzzzzzz!" You sit straight up as you fight the air with your hand trying to wisp this irritance from your beloved ear drums. Heart beating at a faster pace, eyes trained into the black sea containing this bug, you stare for a bit trying to get a glimpse of the sleep ruiner. Finally after a minute or so you are satisfied that whatever beast buzzing your ear has buzzed to a place far from you. So you lay back down. You close your eyes and nestle back into what is still a wonderfully comfy sleeping environment. Not two minutes later, it makes another drive by, dive bomb, tower buzz! Son of A BITCH!

The second buzzing of the tower left me with no recourse. I jumped straight out of bed! With only hate in my blood I turned on every light in that room. To my extreme displeasure I became aware that our enemies had us surrounded. Almost in tears I cried to my boyfriend that the room had been taken over by mosquitoes! There were mosquitoes all over the ceiling just planning their attack. The war had begun!

I am still itching. Apparently I was the only afflicted soldier in this battle for good vs. itchy. I have over 10 bites on my back, they bit my PINKY finger, my hands, my feet, my legs, my neck!!! Mr. Brad did get one bite. ONE! In the annihilation of these wretched skeeters, everyone that was murdered had blood in them.

So if I die of malaria, scurvy (what is scurvy?) or dysentery...er? You won't wonder why!

The Weather Outside is Frightful!

2004-12-22T06:42:00.000-08:00

Wow! It is snowing hard here in the Heartland!

Why do my posts continue to show up down here? I'm getting irritated!

http:// (deepbreath)

2004-12-21T19:58:00.000-08:00

http://igoonfancyvacationswhiletherestofyoufreeze
yourassesoffandidontcare.blogspot.com

What UP!!!!!!??? I'm baaack! Notice the name change! God I'm super GAY! ; ) Not like Homosexual just like retarded. Anywho...

I love you guys and missed you so! Thanks for missing me! It makes me feel so warm and snuggly inside!

Look I have totally fizzucked my blog! Man it needs major ASSistance!

So I have a hilarious tale or two from my trip! However I will have to write it later. I will also help you visualize the beauty that is the Bahamas with some fun photos! Oooh! Get excited!!!