Mommy, Mommy the Rhino's getting too close to the car!

Watching the Discovery Channel is an addiction that I need to start battling against.

You would think, learning about the world and its various realities would prove fulfilling for your mind. Sure, you think that until you learn something you wouldn't mind being ignorant about. No, scratch that, you learn shit that you wish to God you did not know!

Who the hell are the directors in charge of programming for this channel? They are creating a world of invisible monsters to wreak havoc on my otherwise non-threatening existance!

What the Discovery Channel has done now is made me aware of mites. Mites! Have you seen these little beasts? Ewwww! They are EVERYWHERE! In your pores, eyebrows, all over your face and in your pillows!

I was talking with a friend (Hi James!) We were discussing how he washes his pillows every month to avoid an India-like population (before the tsunami) of mites than if he weren't to wash them at all. My response to this, "You wash your pillows? You can DO that?" Obviously I didn't get that memo.

Though I have been aware of these mites for some time (thank you Discovery Channel summer of 1997) (why i remember this detail of "when" (and i can't remember yesterday ?): this "discovery" segment was involving miniscule creatures (obviously) but I remember it was summer time because this certain species (can't recall their identity)(this could most assuredly be a blessing!) of the little critters were rampant in hot, humid climates. which then reminded me of the weather at that time and the increase of "said" critters population because of the summer conditions, eww! I was in college then thus I had nothing better to do then sit home on my summer break and watch TV!!!) (and I had some brain cells left to remember what I watched)

ANYWAYS! The most cognizant area I envision these atrocious mites is in my eyebrows! I swear I can FEEL them in there! I do battle with them using my fingers. I automatically push my eyebrows back into place after feeling even the most remote tingle in the hair follicles! I think, those fuckers are on the move again! They eat your dead skin, did you know that? They are all over your face! In your pores and follicles. They are some UGLY mother fuckers too!

I imagine they congregate in my eyebrow area for the most dense amount of dead follicle action and of course for the best protection against the elements! I wonder if they have an army in the left eyebrow that battles the right eyebrow's army. Follicle fighters!

Point is they are ugly and I think about them on a daily if not hourly basis.

Thanks Discovery Channel. What was once a life living free of miniscule follicle eaters, is now corrupt at the thought of mangy looking mites digesting my face and eyebrows. Mmm.