I'm.Alive...I'm.Alive...I'm Alive. ...Dead!

This morning i almost died. (super dramatic)
I started this new cardio program last week. Actually it doesn't do justice to what I mean by "cardio" and "program." By "Cardio" I mean, body moving at velocity and intensity which should only come about if I am being chased by a vehicle moving at 50mph.
By "Program" I mean, different and twice daily cardio sessions reaping the same reward that a sledghammer would have if you beat your body with it.
Now then I'm sure you can't imagine such a state of torture so I will here and now detail for you this a.m.'s torture session. (mind you, all the torturous sessions are different)
Walk 3.5 setting on 0% incline for 5 minutes.
Walk 3.0 setting on 12% incline for 7 minutes.
Run 5.5 setting on 8% incline for 7 minutes.
Run 7.5 setting one minute 0% incline
Jump off do pop squats for 30 sec.
Run 7.5 setting one minute
Jump off do pop squats for 30 sec.
Run ....etc.
run/squats for duration 10 minutes!!!!

I consider myself in okay cardiovascular condition but after doing this, i'd say i'm in not okay cardiovascular condition. in fact i'd say i'm downright incompetent after my pathetic performance this morning and all last week.

Brad (my boyfriend) is all, "I could do it, it's not that hard." Right, as a freaking SPECTATOR it isn't hard at all is it? I am going to put his arse to the torture that I subject my arse to and we'll see what happens! He won't be able to walk for a week! He thinks he's sweet since he did two-a-days for football. Dude that was like 10 years ago! You can't carry that stamina through 10 years! (hi Brad! getting a good view of the tread from the tires on the bus?) haha

Remember! When in doubt, pinky out!

I'm going to sit on my ass, put my feet up and answer the phones for 8 hours now. Whoopee!