Tuesday, April 12, 2005

The Home of Steers and Queers!

After visiting this said to be highly "backward" state of the union, I saw only a few peculiar differences between them* and us**!

First of all, I saw 2ft by 5ft signs in the window of each establishment (whether it was the local IHOP, McDonalds or Kroger) state (in 100 font) plainly: The consumption of alcoholic beverages on the premises is unlawful. Apparently these signs are necessary since...

Just last year the state of Texas passed a law forbidding the consumption of alcohol in motor vehicles. (*sigh* I was a year late in visiting this grand state to see peculiar activity such as bearing witness to a native slugging a 40 oz. of OE while tooling down the interstate in a Ford F550 10 ton pick up!)

There are also signs in such establishments such as McDonalds that state that it is unlawful to have switchblades, knives or swords on the premises. You see if it isn't a shotgun, its fatal potential is higher? Also being that Texas is a bit racist against the pirates that seem to flock there...outlawing swords seems to curb their population size.

Honestly though, all the people in the city of Nacogdoches, Texas were very nice people. I didn't make that city up either. It is said to be the oldest city in Texas. Believe me, they use this as a selling point for tourist attraction. The billboard signs along the interstate were of a great marketing strategy being situated 5 miles apart for a 100 mile stretch. Most times while driving along the interstate you'll see the "Jesus Saves", "McDonalds 5 miles at Exit 15", "Seatbelts Save Lives" etc. Nope, Texas' stretch was sold out on COME VISIT THE OLDEST CITY IN TEXAS! It must've worked since that is where we ended up!


FAQ's

1. Does everyone drive a pick up truck?
Yes
2. Did you see any black people?
Yes, two
3. Is gas cheap there?
NO
4. Are you wearing any underwear today?
Yes, a bit of an odd question really but Yes.



I'm willing to field any additional questions. Feel free to ask away! I am an expert now that I've been to one city for 3 days one time in my life.






*Texans
**All Normal People Populating the U.S. save those living in Texas