A Guys Guide to Dating my Daughter

Okay so I am the daughter in this scenario. (haha good thing since you all know I'm not a guy!)
My boyfriend is unlike any guy I've dated. In more than a trillion ways but specifically, he is extremely conscious of my Dad. He wants him to "approve of the man dating his daughter." So he does things in an effort to get in my dad's good graces.

I know for a fact that all you guys who really FANCY a woman are apt to become a bit more sensitive to dad's approval. These are some things to keep in mind when you are in dad's company.

1. Avoid speaking of anything to do with beds, bedrooms, night, sheets, being naked. If there is any remote chance the father could envision you having sex with his daughter, he will not like you.

2. When at all possible offer the father beer or a drink, offer to go out and buy beer for his consumption, bring beer with you when you come to his house. The more inebriated he his, the more conceivable he'll like you.

3. Never call him by his first name, even if invited. You should always remain cordial and proper with Mr. (insert last name) and Sir. These proper nouns keep the father's instictive territorial domination intact.

4. Talk about football. Let him know his daughter isn't dating a pansy so mention you played in high school and college. Men like manly men that can take care of their daughter. Don't ever mention playing sports like soccer and volleyball. These are high on the gay meter!

5. Never flirt with the Mrs. even if she is hot. And don't get caught staring at her chest either!

6. If you absolutely have to tell dad that you knocked up his daughter...make sure you are the one nearest the exit!


If there are more and I'm sure there are...let's hear 'em. I am obviously the daughter so I don't have first hand experience in the world of dad's from the guys perspective. I can tell you that my dad is difficult to please as it pertains to a suitable "courter" for me. So far, Brad is doing a hell of a job!

It's just one of those days

Where you don't want to wake up...

That is me today! Oh and no html bar! I can't do fancy things on my blawg.

So check it, the sky is dark and dreary. It has warmed up some...a good 30 degrees I think. Which if you felt the 0 degrees you'd be loving this temperature! Supposedly it is going to be like 54 this friday! I shit you not, here in Ohio this will bring out people in shorts and short sleeve shirts! A heat wave in January! Who'd a thunk it?

OSU plays tonight in their "we lost all our players to the NFL and suck this year" bowl. I doubt I'll watch much of it but the freaky buckeye fever is contaminating the city for one last hurrah! For those of you who live in Texas, you better believe our "kind" is taking over San Antonio tonight!

2004 End of Year Expansion

You can imagine my eyes bulging out of my head at the sheer enthusiasm of shopping with other people's money. It isn't a common occurrence so I thank my lucky stars when I get said opportunity.

HOWEVER

This enthusiasm has been contravened due to unforseen holiday "expansion". Yeah suckos I've expanded the waist line this year to more than my daily pants can handle. Causes of expansion? I'll list them!

1. World Gym what? I haven't stepped through their doors in a MONTH (absolutely unheard of)
2. Cookies (damn you holiday cookie cooks!)
3. Chocolate examples include: Peanut m&m's, chocolate covered espresso beans, assorted chocolates at my boyfriends, chocolate covered pretzels, hershey kisses and on.
4. Cheesy casseroles. You know what I'm referring to, cheesy potatos, cheesy broccoli and rice, cheesy cheese! Ahhh!
5. Complete and utter lazyness compiled with alcohol! Days spent on the couch watching nothing but football eating peanuts and cheese-its and drinking beer. (rough life)

I'm rather upset about the mere mention of trying on clothes. I think I'll be taking a rain check on my shopping adventure until I can fit into the pants I currently own. I can't imagine a more depressing shopping trip then to purchase "fat" pants! YIPES!!!

Another MC came and went

Yay! Sometimes the HTML bar doesn't show up when I post from work but today it did! I can inflict you with links, different color schemes, bold print! Oh the possibilities are endless!

I hope you all enjoyed a wonderful Christmas celebration! As you might possibly know, here in Ohio we had what one could deem an ice/snow storm of sorts. Well being that I live in Ohio I know that we aren't equipped to deal with any "storm" in an efficient way. That being said, for two days (Thursday and Friday) we were without power (as were over 100,000 people in our area.) The thought of spending Christmas in a Hotel room was not the least bit enticing. Luckily (thanks Santa!) our power came on Christmas morning so we could open our gifts in a warm house of 72 degrees not the arctic house of 42 degrees!

So what did Santa bring me this year? You are going to think me odd (more so than usual) I got sleeveless work-out shirts with the word "nique" monogrammed on them! They are AWESOME! For those of you who know me, you won't think this is out of the ordinary. Since I try to spend every waking hour that I possibly can in the gym, this gift is so wonderful! Other than this and some other fun stuff, the 'rents granted my wish! I have to laugh because I was such a brat about not getting anything for Christmas but money. However now I can hit all the sales and get lots of fun clothes! Merry Christmas to me!

I want to know your most favorite present Santa brought to you!

There's a Skeeter on my Peter...Knock it off!

Picture yourself in a soft and comfortable bed. You've been sleeping for about 4 hours and it has been a deep and wonderful 4 hours. There is a warm breeze coming through your hotel room sliding glass door filled with the intoxicating sounds of the ocean and salty air smells. Lovely isn't it?

All of the sudden you are JERKED awake abruptly by this foreign and uninvited noise in your ear, "bzzzzzzzzz!" You sit straight up as you fight the air with your hand trying to wisp this irritance from your beloved ear drums. Heart beating at a faster pace, eyes trained into the black sea containing this bug, you stare for a bit trying to get a glimpse of the sleep ruiner. Finally after a minute or so you are satisfied that whatever beast buzzing your ear has buzzed to a place far from you. So you lay back down. You close your eyes and nestle back into what is still a wonderfully comfy sleeping environment. Not two minutes later, it makes another drive by, dive bomb, tower buzz! Son of A BITCH!

The second buzzing of the tower left me with no recourse. I jumped straight out of bed! With only hate in my blood I turned on every light in that room. To my extreme displeasure I became aware that our enemies had us surrounded. Almost in tears I cried to my boyfriend that the room had been taken over by mosquitoes! There were mosquitoes all over the ceiling just planning their attack. The war had begun!

I am still itching. Apparently I was the only afflicted soldier in this battle for good vs. itchy. I have over 10 bites on my back, they bit my PINKY finger, my hands, my feet, my legs, my neck!!! Mr. Brad did get one bite. ONE! In the annihilation of these wretched skeeters, everyone that was murdered had blood in them.

So if I die of malaria, scurvy (what is scurvy?) or dysentery...er? You won't wonder why!

The Weather Outside is Frightful!

Wow! It is snowing hard here in the Heartland!

Why do my posts continue to show up down here? I'm getting irritated!

http:// (deepbreath)

http://igoonfancyvacationswhiletherestofyoufreeze
yourassesoffandidontcare.blogspot.com


What UP!!!!!!??? I'm baaack! Notice the name change! God I'm super GAY! ; ) Not like Homosexual just like retarded. Anywho...

I love you guys and missed you so! Thanks for missing me! It makes me feel so warm and snuggly inside!

Look I have totally fizzucked my blog! Man it needs major ASSistance!

So I have a hilarious tale or two from my trip! However I will have to write it later. I will also help you visualize the beauty that is the Bahamas with some fun photos! Oooh! Get excited!!!